The case against 'should'

Working in a software company, there is a lot of use of the word 'should'. "Should we include this feature?" "Should we put a process in place for this?" "That shouldn't be allowed to happen."

Should implies that there is a right way and a wrong way. It is the language of correct and incorrect, light and dark. No, the software should never crash. Yes, we should have a process for changing important parts of the system. No, we should never make the customer wait more than a week.

But this is danger territory. Tell me, should I take sugar or sweetener? Should I rent or buy? Should I be a vegetarian? Should I marry or cohabit? These are not topics people generally agree on. In fact, they are topics that bring out the worst traits in people - judgemental, unthinking refusal to compromise or be flexible, or even to think rationally about a subject. These are hard-and-fast gut reactions. You should marry. No, I believe in marriage. Cohabitation has no benefits. Vegetarianism is the future, think of the children!

I've noticed that when people say should, they are using their expectations as a measure of should vs should not. Should the customer be made to wait? No! Of course not! Stupid question! Let's rephrase it: how much of a tradeoff of productivity and efficiency are we willing to accept in order to reduce customer waiting times by X%? Now we are talking - we have a more objective yardstick, a more equivocal question. We have framed the question in terms of the true business upside and downside, rather than throwing it against their gut reaction.

So, when someone says we should do X, or the software should not do Y, a little flag goes up in my head. Wouldn't it be easy for someone to argue for their preferred course of action by simply invoking our predictable gut reactions? Do it my way, because we should give our customers what they asked for.

'Should' is a hammer. It makes everything look like a nail, which can be battered into place by the sheer righteousness of our gut reaction. Pick a different verb! Ask if we can allow, expect or improve. Talk about tradeoffs and priorities, opportunities and strategies.

If you keep using 'should', you're just looking for an argument.

You shouldn't do that.

Epiphany of purpose

Why manipulate, why
push and pull?
Or play games?

When -

Why the power struggle,
the point scoring
the vindictiveness
for vindication?

When you can -

Why compromise your integrity
or settle for bitchy
jumping on a slipped word
pressing your point
just to win?

When you can love -

Why even try to win
the struggle of me versus you
the do-what-I-want
not-what-you-want?

When you can love
and achieve far more
than mere winning.

Mums and content relevance

Responding to Grant McCracken's Invading The World Of The Mommy Blogger:

I recall Clay Shirky mentioning that mums are the ultimate test of your website or service, because they have no time for things that are not ultimately useful.

The same reason underlies usability studies finding people unwilling to waver from their "click, hunt for relevance, click, hunt, back" behaviour. People (and particularly mums) are very goal-oriented, and until you provide something that helps them, they don't care about you (thanks Kathy Sierra).

So, you need to pull your target audience in with the application of your book/theory - what could a mum change about her day-to-day routine that would show the theory at work? Mums will read that, looking for a nugget that will help them. If they agree and it works, they will come back for the rest of it. But calling something "Chief Culture Officer" does not suggest a resource that will get better-mannered children and free up some of their time to see their friends.

In essence: identify your audience, find out what their problems are, work out what one theory application will have the most impact for them, and package that up for them. People will come back to the source of good advice.

Does the hill level out? [The difficulty of discipline]

Every day, every moment,
I face a choice.

Step up the hill
against the gradient,
Eastward, towards
activity, discipline,
doing the right thing.
This way lies achievement
I'm told.

Or relax,
Let fall the strive
and roll
gleefully, unfettered,
to the little ditch.
But here only frustration
I've seen.

So,
keep I upward.
Drawn.
Push I, by force,
myself.
But I, striving
tire.
And
so I waver.
Pause.

Does the hill level out?
Can I trust that the toil
will one day yield
at least a shallow slope
or greater muscle to overcome it?

Were I truly lazy,
I would have no internal motivation.
Nothing would push from inside
and in that ditch I would be
happy.
But in it I am not.
Not happy, that is,
but frequently there I find me,
entertained by an endless stream
of little amusements. But inside
my spirit darkens with self-hate.

So in a spirit of reluctant agreement
I make another pact
with the inner striver
and turn to face the hill.

And then some days I wonder
is this the wrong hill for me to climb?
Or would I better push
knowing that that rock hides
a treasure easily
worth the climb?

Perhaps the ditch merely reflects
my fear of the unknown.
Beyond the rock, over the ridge,
perhaps I fear I will not make it.

Save me, self-deception,
from facing it all.
Your ditch I know.

Fallacy of the wise

How deep the fallacy of the wise,
of mine?

How far goes the well,
how deep the hole
sunk
in the ignorance of humanity?

I stumble,
so walking always,
yet each step feels like
a leap, a feat,
an achievement.

Most wisdom is merely
recognition of our limits -
humanity's fallacy, its
myopic self interest.

So teach me, universe,
teach me, nature.
Limits be my guide,
exponentials my pointer
to the unending asymptotes of
my blind, dumb stumble.

Null my ego,
flatten my puffing chest,
drive it down and make me
humble.
For,

I
Look
Up.

Knowing even this,
I am proud
of my humility.
Fie, fool! Fallacy
again.

Seeking Significance

Underlying always,
Beneath my drive,
I am seeking significance.

Somewhere to the right
in the caverns of my mind
I am drawn
to be something more.

Secretly I measure myself
to Einstein, to Feynman.
Men of great achievement
of significance.

I do not want to live
anonymous
nor tirelessly work
ungaining.

It is said that young men seek
significance, and find only age
which brings a dulling
of the hunger and a
wider emotionality.

But this is my hunger. Will I be
a great man? Or will my dreams be forever
just dreams? And I
just a man,
just anybody.

Fat Photographer

> I'm at a seminar in Eindhoven. The photographer is you when you were fat.

I lurk
neath your conscious,
waiting to subvert
your unwitting context.

Fat, I live forever.