Monday, April 26, 2010

Passive Depressive

Go ahead,
Just ignore me,
And I will turn away.

Show me I am valueless
I'll quietly agree.

You feel nothing
I feel everything;

My worth reels.
Anger rages
at you, at me
with defeated turmoil,
all withheld.

Here, the root of the deathwish
An expression of the magnitude of feeling
this side of my skull.

Why am I powerless?
Introspection grips self-loathing;
an answer that stokes the fire -
dank heaviness of head
falling with hurt
and seeking escape.

Escape in sleep
escape in oblivion
rest, peace from the hurt and judgement within.

The more you matter to me
the more I will push you away
and the more I will want you
to stay
and ask me what's wrong.

A child in me seeks comfort in kind words
and a demon threatens it
with hate and disgust in its eyes.

So turn away
and I will crumple
rag-doll towards the abyss.

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